


Porged

by valda



Series: The Deaths of Supreme Leader Snoke [19]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Animal Death, Character Death, Gen, Humor, Implied/Referenced Character Death, animal cruelty, porgs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 17:54:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14266455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valda/pseuds/valda
Summary: TheSupremacyis infested with porgs, and ultimately there's only one solution. It's a complex operation, but General Hux has thought of everything. Hasn't he?





	Porged

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for a Tumblr prompt [here](http://cosleia.tumblr.com/post/171386729853/death-by-porg-if-youre-still-doing-these-of).

The infestation was getting out of hand. It seemed that as soon as a hundred nests were cleared out, a thousand more appeared in their place. These creatures multiplied at such a ridiculous rate that Armitage wasn’t sure it would be possible to eliminate them without completely evacuating and then fumigating the ship, and the logistics of that were a nightmare: the  _Supremacy_  was the size of a city and housed just as many people, and somehow he would have to ensure that none of the evacuees accidentally brought along a feathery passenger, lest the whole enterprise be for naught.

Ren had laughed in the beginning, but when he began finding eggs in his spare robes and once in his helmet, and when his favorite training room became overrun with flying, squawking menaces, he changed his tune.

“I’ll kill them all,” he seethed, hacking one out of the air with his lightsaber. Its sizzling, bisected body fell to the durasteel with a staccato pair of heavy  _thumps_.

“Not very efficient,” Armitage tutted at him. A sudden flutter of wings in front of his face had him backpedaling with a yelp. “I can see where it would be satisfying, though,” he gritted out. “But there’s nothing for it; we’ll have to evacuate.”

And so he set the long, arduous operation into motion, organizing transports to other ships and to Order-allied planets, implementing triple checks of any ship departing the  _Supremacy_ , and bringing in enough toxic gas to flood the entire Mega Dreadnought. It took weeks, but finally everything was done.

All that was left was for Armitage and Ren to leave. Then he could remotely activate the poison.

They took the last remaining shuttle; Ren made certain no filthy porgs were on board. As they shot out of the hangar and into space, Armitage let out a long sigh. “Finally,” he said. “This operation was as complicated as Starkiller.”

“Kill them,” Ren replied, fervently. “Kill them all.”

Armitage smiled and pressed the button.

A small, niggling feeling poked at the back of his mind. It was as if he had forgotten something. But no; everything had been accounted for, and the quick-acting poison should be flooding every compartment on the  _Supremacy_.

“I’ll just let Supreme Leader know my operation was a success,” he told Ren proudly, reaching for the comm.

His hand froze halfway to the call toggle.

“Shit.”

**Author's Note:**

> Even though Snoke has canonically died I am very happy to continue killing him myself.


End file.
